Over the last few weeks, I was struck by what several leaders told me. We’re speaking here about leaders in corporates which happen to fare well considering the crisis.This happens at a time the covid19 situation is worsening again in Europe, and several countries are taking additional measures to fight the virus, including 100% teleworking again.
So, when asking these leaders how they are doing, several told me “I really miss not seeing colleagues, partners and customers ”. And they say it in a way you can feel it’s not just the standard answer heard over and over again these last months. It weighs on their motivation and energy level.
And just after having shared that in confidence, almost all of them then immediately said : “But hey, compared to many others, my company fares well, so I’m lucky, I can’t complain and I’ll just absorb it”.
Well yes … and no !
Yes, it’s important to reckon you might be in a better position than others, and be grateful for that.
And no, don’t just absorb it.
First, this feeling will not go away, that’s for sure. This covid19 situation will be there for many more months. Hence, you’re taking the risk of seeing your motivation as well as your physical and mental health decline. That’s not wise, neither for you and your family, nor for the teams you lead. Particularly in today’s circumstances, we’ll need all positive energy to sail through the crisis.
Second, exactly because you’re a leader. And as a leader, whether you like it or not, any decision or attitude you take – consciously or unconsciously – sends a signal, sends a message to your team and to your organization. When you say “I can’t complain”, many colleagues will hear “Don’t complain, do your work” … even though some of them might need help and support for something you’re not aware off.
For me, this is a good, current illustration of the difference between strong leadership and resilient leadership (also often called authentic leadership).
Strong leadership is based on the idea that you – as a leader – have an obligation to show you’re strong against all odds. In most cases, it’s well intentioned. However, by doing that, you don’t only deny your personal needs, you also unintentionally send a message that says: “your vulnerabilities don’t matter, your needs for help don’t matter, just deal with it”. Aside from today’s specific needs due to the current covid19 situation, you can easily see how such leadership attitude contribute to a less open corporate culture, where people don’t dare to share problems, to suggest different ways of doing things, or to express diverging opinions.
Resilient is not the opposite of “strong” ! Resilient leadership (or authentic leadership) is not “weak” leadership. Resilient leadership is daring to show that before being a leader, you’re first and foremost a human being. You also have doubts, you also have fears, you’re also emotionally impacted by today’s situation.
And – that is where your leadership kicks-in and where your attitude becomes an example – you show others how you deal with it: you don’t hesitate to acknowledge these vulnerabilities, as you know acceptance is always the first necessary step before finding solutions. You don’t hesitate to reach out for help or support. You show that you don’t have all answers to all problems by yourself. And by doing so, you actually show the path for a more open corporate culture, where people will feel safe to share problems, to reach out, and also to support others. Your attitude is supportive of a learning corporate culture.
So yes, be grateful for your job, and no, don’t just absorb the emotional drain. Share your struggles with colleagues and team members. You’ll be surprised how grateful they will be you dare to share this with them. Probably that many of them are sharing the same struggles. So I wouldn’t be surprised you’ll find creative solutions all together.